Understanding Your Child’s Conative Energy

I’m a big believer in allowing for individual differences among kids as they grow, learn and develop. I think all parents want to understand and nurture their kids in the most individualized way possible. But how does one do that?

I came across a word on Twitter, of all places, and the word was “conation”. I must admit, I had never heard of it before. With my curiosity peaked, I followed the link and found out it has something to do with how the brain works. I’m always interested in the nervous system so I continued on.

There is a series of assessment indexes created by a fascinating woman named Kathy Kolbe. These are scientifically validated tools to assess an individual’s 3 main brain functions: thinking, feeling and doing. The doing or action part is what is referred to as conation. According to the Kolbe website:

“The conative, or doing, part contains the striving instincts that drive a person’s natural way of taking action, or modus operandi (MO). This is the unique set of innate strengths and talents every person has which remains unchanged from birth. Everyone has an equal amount of conative energy for engaging the thinking (cognitive) and feeling (affective) parts of the mind to produce purposeful action.”

I find it really exciting that parents can now discover how their own child uses this conative ability in their own unique way. It is even more pronounced when a parent can discern and respect the differences they may have with their own child. This was pointed out beautifully by Martha Beck in an article she wrote in 2006. In it she describes how she found out how different she was compared to her own daughter with regards to school performance, and how this really changed their relationship. She learned to play to her daughter’s strengths by enhancing the innate conative ability her daughter had been trying to use all along. You can read the full article which appeared in O, the Oprah Magazine in January 2006.

The main take home point here is that these assessment tools give parents a way to gain clarity on how their child is functioning and how they can encourage this natural way of being for their specific child, not in comparison to anyone else. As a pediatrician, this is very appealing to me and just makes a lot of sense.

If you are interested in getting an assessment done for your child of any age older than 2 years old, explore the different options available on the Kolbe Assessments page. The Kolbe IF for Kids Index is for ages 2 thru 8, and the Kolbe Y Index if for older kids thru age 17. In addition, there are reading materials and research links as well.

A special thanks to Kathy Kolbe for her outstanding work on behalf of children and parents.

I’d be interested in hearing what other parents have found out by exploring and nurturing their child’s conative ability. If any of you have had experience with this technique or have had your child’s assessment done, share your views and feedback with others below.

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Raising Intuitive Children

There is a new book out called “Raising Intuitive Children” by Tara Paterson and Caron Goode, Ed. D. I believe this is a much needed topic of discussion, especially  with the nature and characteristics of kids growing up in today’s world. This is a short video clip from a news program highlighting one of the authors, Tara Paterson.

The book details how kids are naturally intuitive. Another word used often to describe these kids is “sensitive” and I have seen many children in my practice who fit this characteristic. In the energy medicine way of looking at a child, we must take into account the dynamics of their degree of sensitivity because it often leads to energy expenditures that might be better utilized elsewhere in the child’s system.

When parents are aware of how their kids are affected by both internal and external influences, they can then take actions to explain and buffer these energetic impacts on them.

I’m very encouraged and grateful that more and more people are addressing this issue and using multiple media outlets to get the word out.

If you’d like to find out more about the authors of this book, explore this site called Parenting Intuitives.
If you have an intuitive child, share your experience with other readers below.

Dr Brazelton’s Touchpoints

I am a big fan of Dr T Berry Brazelton and his Touchpoints philosophy. As a fellow pediatrician I have had similar feelings as Dr Brazelton with regards to the changes that have taken place in our medical system. As physicians, we have all experienced changes in the way we practice medicine in the last couple of decades.

I like the short video embedded below which details the Touchpoints philosophy. Dr Brazelton and the other providers on the video stress the importance of parents as partners in the process which I whole-heartedly agree with. As parents, you are by far the most influential people in your children’s lives so it makes sense to support your role with as much encouragement and knowledge we can give you.

The common scenario where a child is about to make developmental gains often brings with it some regression in other areas. I have seen this time and again in my practice, and Dr Brazelton reinforces the need for balance and understanding while this is happening. Once you as parents realize this is part of the overall process it can really take the pressure off of you and provide an opportunity for growth and understanding for all members of your family.

The team approach discussed in the video includes all those involved in your child’s development, not just the parents and the doctor. This is also very much in line with my way of thinking and I would add that the decision of who is included in this partnership should be up to the family and their practitioners, not any outside agencies (like insurance companies).

Finally, I really like the way Dr Brazelton emphasizes the need for a paradigm shift, wherein we go from looking at failures and problem areas that a child might have (which inevitably leads to diagnoses, tests, medications, etc.) and rather looking at the positive gains the child has made and seeing the good aspects through the child’s own experience.

In my practice I use a framework that is very similar in philosophy with Touchpoints. I highly recommend that you watch this short video now and then explore Dr Brazelton’s Touchpoints site. If you have any comments or questions, use the form below.

New BodyTalk Video Cortices

Dr John Veltheim is featured on a new page on the Principles for Parents website. It’s a page on BodyTalk with a new video of Dr Veltheim describing and demonstrating the technique known as cortices. This is a simple brain balancing technique which involves gentle tapping on the head and chest and is one I use on every child in my practice.

This is a great chance to hear about BodyTalk from the founder himself, and to learn how to perform the cortices protocol for the benefit of your children and family members.

I encourage every parent to learn how to do cortices, and if you are motivated to learn more, you can look into the many training programs available through the International BodyTalk Association. Click on the links on the webpage after you’ve watched the video to see if there are BodyTalk practitioners near you or if there are trainings coming up like BodyTalk Access, or Modules 1 and 2 being offered in your local area.

Parental Wisdom

I had the pleasure of speaking with the Founder of Parental Wisdom.com, Lisa Nocera, and I must say we are on the same wavelength.

Her site uses a patented format to field questions anonymously from parents and then matches them up with experts who can give relevant answers. The key is that you as parents have the ability to receive multiple responses to the same question, thereby enabling you to choose which one fits best with your point of view and philosophy.

I think this is a great idea and it is sorely needed in our current fast paced culture and world. I believe it is especially needed when it comes to parenting advice and I couldn’t agree more with Lisa when she says,

Parenting is the ultimate in on the job training, with no qualifications required or formal training program. And let’s not forget that each child is unique. That means what worked for one child, won’t necessarily work for the next child. Every parent with more than one child knows that!

Parental Wisdom was created because kids don’t come with manuals® they never have, never will, because you can’t write a manual on a work in progress.

I highly recommend that you become a member and get the free benefits of having access to multiple experts. Click here to visit the ParentalWisdom website.