Understanding Your Child’s Conative Energy

I’m a big believer in allowing for individual differences among kids as they grow, learn and develop. I think all parents want to understand and nurture their kids in the most individualized way possible. But how does one do that?

I came across a word on Twitter, of all places, and the word was “conation”. I must admit, I had never heard of it before. With my curiosity peaked, I followed the link and found out it has something to do with how the brain works. I’m always interested in the nervous system so I continued on.

There is a series of assessment indexes created by a fascinating woman named Kathy Kolbe. These are scientifically validated tools to assess an individual’s 3 main brain functions: thinking, feeling and doing. The doing or action part is what is referred to as conation. According to the Kolbe website:

“The conative, or doing, part contains the striving instincts that drive a person’s natural way of taking action, or modus operandi (MO). This is the unique set of innate strengths and talents every person has which remains unchanged from birth. Everyone has an equal amount of conative energy for engaging the thinking (cognitive) and feeling (affective) parts of the mind to produce purposeful action.”

I find it really exciting that parents can now discover how their own child uses this conative ability in their own unique way. It is even more pronounced when a parent can discern and respect the differences they may have with their own child. This was pointed out beautifully by Martha Beck in an article she wrote in 2006. In it she describes how she found out how different she was compared to her own daughter with regards to school performance, and how this really changed their relationship. She learned to play to her daughter’s strengths by enhancing the innate conative ability her daughter had been trying to use all along. You can read the full article which appeared in O, the Oprah Magazine in January 2006.

The main take home point here is that these assessment tools give parents a way to gain clarity on how their child is functioning and how they can encourage this natural way of being for their specific child, not in comparison to anyone else. As a pediatrician, this is very appealing to me and just makes a lot of sense.

If you are interested in getting an assessment done for your child of any age older than 2 years old, explore the different options available on the Kolbe Assessments page. The Kolbe IF for Kids Index is for ages 2 thru 8, and the Kolbe Y Index if for older kids thru age 17. In addition, there are reading materials and research links as well.

A special thanks to Kathy Kolbe for her outstanding work on behalf of children and parents.

I’d be interested in hearing what other parents have found out by exploring and nurturing their child’s conative ability. If any of you have had experience with this technique or have had your child’s assessment done, share your views and feedback with others below.

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