Parenting Tips: Emphasizing Contrast

Another tip I often discuss with parents is the concept of “contrast”. This really refers to the idea that by contrasting what has happened in the past with what is happening now, you are making it easier for your child’s nervous system settings to stay up to date. The main points I like to make with parents regarding this particular tip include the following:

Emphasizing Contrast:

1. This is an important way of demonstrating to your child
the remarkable progress they have already made.

2. It also reinforces the stage of development they are in
which “contrasts” with what came before.

3. Ideally, this leads to the “letting go” of old, outdated, or
no longer relevant settings.

4. Broadcast the right messages to be helpful, knowing
your child is receiving them all the time.

What I mean by this is, you can make statements about what your child used to do in the past, and how now they are able to do something different and probably better and more in keeping with their current age.

For example, as a parent you might say “I remember when you used to have trouble sleeping by yourself, but now that you’re older you can sleep by yourself every night!” Another example might be to say, “I remember when you had to use training wheels on your bike, but now you can ride so well without them because your balance is so good!”

Arc of Change for Your Child

By making these statements, you are describing the arc of change your child has gone through. It is truly remarkable to see the gains your child has made over a short period of time. Why not acknowledge and emphasize this for them? Ideally, this leads to the “letting go” of old, outdated, or no longer relevant settings.

I have had the experience of seeing some kids who have trouble moving forward in their development, not because they or their body and underlying system doesn’t know what to do, but because they feel an inhibition or a reluctance to adapt to the changes required of them based on the feeling of not being able to let go of their more familiar, previously appropriate settings. The shorter way to say this is: some kids don’t deal with changes very well, and it is up to us and especially you to help them move through their period of adjustment.

Parental Broadcasting

Another aspect of this idea of “contrast” I want to mention is the fact that in the energy medicine way of thinking, this information can arrive in your child’s consciousness in more ways than one. Not only can you present this by making statements, but you can also do the same thing by projecting your thoughts and feelings.

This broadcasting of your energy in the form of thoughts, feelings, emotions, and your attitude is happening all the time anyway. Most people are just not aware of this fact. I want to bring this to your attention so that you can make use of it. This is particularly important for the non-verbal or preverbal child, and for those kids that have a heightened level of intuition or energy sensitivity.

Have Confidence Using This New Perspective

As an aside, this understanding comes from an energy medicine perspective, something I did not learn about or have the awareness to see in my practice back when I was a primary care pediatrician. This is one of the reasons why I have such an interest in getting this information out to parents right now.

So have confidence that your child is actively receiving information from you all the time. Now you can make sure they are “receiving” the messages and inputs that you want for them, using techniques like emphasizing contrast for your child as part of your ongoing role as a parent giving them reinforcement and encouragement.

For more tips on other topics and techniques, find out more about my 8 Tips for Parents.

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