Parenting Tips: Emphasizing Contrast

Another tip I often discuss with parents is the concept of “contrast”. This really refers to the idea that by contrasting what has happened in the past with what is happening now, you are making it easier for your child’s nervous system settings to stay up to date. The main points I like to make with parents regarding this particular tip include the following:

Emphasizing Contrast:

1. This is an important way of demonstrating to your child
the remarkable progress they have already made.

2. It also reinforces the stage of development they are in
which “contrasts” with what came before.

3. Ideally, this leads to the “letting go” of old, outdated, or
no longer relevant settings.

4. Broadcast the right messages to be helpful, knowing
your child is receiving them all the time.

What I mean by this is, you can make statements about what your child used to do in the past, and how now they are able to do something different and probably better and more in keeping with their current age.

For example, as a parent you might say “I remember when you used to have trouble sleeping by yourself, but now that you’re older you can sleep by yourself every night!” Another example might be to say, “I remember when you had to use training wheels on your bike, but now you can ride so well without them because your balance is so good!”

Arc of Change for Your Child

By making these statements, you are describing the arc of change your child has gone through. It is truly remarkable to see the gains your child has made over a short period of time. Why not acknowledge and emphasize this for them? Ideally, this leads to the “letting go” of old, outdated, or no longer relevant settings.

I have had the experience of seeing some kids who have trouble moving forward in their development, not because they or their body and underlying system doesn’t know what to do, but because they feel an inhibition or a reluctance to adapt to the changes required of them based on the feeling of not being able to let go of their more familiar, previously appropriate settings. The shorter way to say this is: some kids don’t deal with changes very well, and it is up to us and especially you to help them move through their period of adjustment.

Parental Broadcasting

Another aspect of this idea of “contrast” I want to mention is the fact that in the energy medicine way of thinking, this information can arrive in your child’s consciousness in more ways than one. Not only can you present this by making statements, but you can also do the same thing by projecting your thoughts and feelings.

This broadcasting of your energy in the form of thoughts, feelings, emotions, and your attitude is happening all the time anyway. Most people are just not aware of this fact. I want to bring this to your attention so that you can make use of it. This is particularly important for the non-verbal or preverbal child, and for those kids that have a heightened level of intuition or energy sensitivity.

Have Confidence Using This New Perspective

As an aside, this understanding comes from an energy medicine perspective, something I did not learn about or have the awareness to see in my practice back when I was a primary care pediatrician. This is one of the reasons why I have such an interest in getting this information out to parents right now.

So have confidence that your child is actively receiving information from you all the time. Now you can make sure they are “receiving” the messages and inputs that you want for them, using techniques like emphasizing contrast for your child as part of your ongoing role as a parent giving them reinforcement and encouragement.

For more tips on other topics and techniques, find out more about my 8 Tips for Parents.

Help Your Child Manage Anger

I believe one of the most important topics that parents can teach their kids about is how to handle emotional states like anger. As youngsters, we have a lack of experience and little where-with-all to handle powerful and unpredictable emotions.

Learning how to manage emotions like anger in constructive, natural and acceptable ways is one of the ongoing processes of childhood and beyond.

Here is a site and a book I came across which specifically deals with anger in children and gives some great alternatives to medication and the conventional approach, while respecting the individual variations that children inherently have across the spectrum of the population.

Dear Sebastian was written by Bianca Tora, a grandmother and writer who put together this book and the website called Help-Your-Child-With-Anger.com.

The following is a quote from the author:

“Thanks to recent research on brain neuroplasticity, exercise-induced brain stimulation, psychoenergetic science, the power of intention and attention, we knew we could help our grandson manage his anger without relying on drugs or institutional care. And that’s what we did–helped him manage his anger–with love, patience, belief and brain-building exercises. This website is the result of our encounter with anger. We decided to turn what we learned from it into anger management tips and resources that can help others like us.”
- Bianca Tora

In Chinese medicine, anger is under the functional category of the liver and gall bladder sub-system. What this means is from an energy perspective, children (and all of us) must use some of their allotted liver gall bladder energy to deal with anger as an emotion, either in the expression of it or the inhibition of it. Both outward expression and inward repression require energy from the liver and gall bladder system.

Not surprisingly, this same sub-circuit is in charge of dealing with stress (both internal and external) in addition to many other categories. It is no wonder then, that stress can increase the chances of a child having anger episodes more frequently or more pronounced as a result of stress provoking events and experiences.

In my practice, I have learned that I must look for additional pieces of information when investigating the causes of anger and the Chinese medicine system is a very useful framework in this regard. At the same time, it allows us to look for individual differences in order to come up with a strategy that will work for your child, not anyone else’s and not based solely on statistics and numbers.

Here is a short video that highlights this site called Help-Your-Child-With-Anger.com.

If you have a child who is having difficulty with anger as an emotional state, go to this website and read more about the many techniques available to address it. You may also leave a comment on this post or submit a question through my contact form.

Energy Medicine Principles for Parents Ebook Released

My new ebook called Energy Medicine Principles for Parents was just released this week. I am very grateful to all those who contributed to the completion of this project. Even though it took me a little over a year, I feel very satisfied with the outcome and the final product. I want to say a special thank you to Dr John Veltheim, the founder of the BodyTalk System, who graciously wrote the foreward to the book, and who has paved the way for many people to understand and utilize energy medicine in new and exciting ways.

My goal with this book is to provide parents with an introduction and a working understanding of what I define as energy medicine and why I think it is so important. As a pediatrician and holistic physician, I have spent the better part of the last 10 years devoting myself to learning and putting into practice the energy medicine modalities I mention in the book. They are: The BodyTalk System, acupuncture point stimulation techniques (with and without needles), essential oils used mostly topically, and other supplementation strategies.

Many people wonder why a board certified pediatrician like me would choose to change his practice into one of holistic or alternative methods only. My response is that I do not reject the western medical model or its utility, I simply prefer to practice in such a way that I am able to provide what I think is the best, most comprehensive approach for my patients and families. My opinion is that ideally, all families have access and an openness to all modalities which may be of benefit to them. I generally see my role as an adjunct or a complement to a person’s healthcare team, not as a stand alone substitute.

I believe that the energy medicine paradigm provides an extremely useful framework to discuss and manage those aspects of pediatric symptoms and conditions that are outside of the diagnostic parameters available today. When I practiced primary care pediatrics in the past, there were many times when no diagnosis could be given, and no treatment offered, simply because the child’s condition or presentation was outside of what conventional medicine could categorize and differentiate. This does not mean that conventional approaches are all bad or all wrong, it just means they are incomplete.

With energy as our common currency and as a way to describe and interpret what’s going on with a child and their family, a whole new vista is opened and made accessible and workable to me as a doctor, and to the families I am working with to try and help.

Getting back to the book, there are 4 parts and a final section where parents can get into action right away.
Part 1: Energy Medicine Principles – ten energy medicine principles I think all parents should know about
Part 2: The treatment process and the BodyTalk system
Part 3: Pediatric applications discussed by age range
Part 4: Energy Medicine Synthesis – 3 case studies of different conditions and age groups
The last section is called “What you can do for your child right now!”

If you would like to read a short excerpt from the book, you may download it from my homepage on PrinciplesForParents.com.

If you would like more details about the contents of the book itself and the bonus materials, you may read more about my Energy Medicine Principles for Parents Ebook here.

As always, I welcome your questions or comments on the book or any other topics.

Parental Wisdom

I had the pleasure of speaking with the Founder of Parental Wisdom.com, Lisa Nocera, and I must say we are on the same wavelength.

Her site uses a patented format to field questions anonymously from parents and then matches them up with experts who can give relevant answers. The key is that you as parents have the ability to receive multiple responses to the same question, thereby enabling you to choose which one fits best with your point of view and philosophy.

I think this is a great idea and it is sorely needed in our current fast paced culture and world. I believe it is especially needed when it comes to parenting advice and I couldn’t agree more with Lisa when she says,

Parenting is the ultimate in on the job training, with no qualifications required or formal training program. And let’s not forget that each child is unique. That means what worked for one child, won’t necessarily work for the next child. Every parent with more than one child knows that!

Parental Wisdom was created because kids don’t come with manuals® they never have, never will, because you can’t write a manual on a work in progress.

I highly recommend that you become a member and get the free benefits of having access to multiple experts. Click here to visit the ParentalWisdom website.

Helping Promote Conscious Parenting

I came across this site called TEACH through love, an organization dedicated to helping to raise awareness of emotional harm that children can be subject to. It’s run by Lori Petro, a writer, producer, former educator, child advocate and mother of one.
In addition to articles on conscious parenting and really great resources, there is a section on baby horoscopes which may give you some insight into your child’s underlying personality characteristics.
Take a look at the site here and share your comments if you’d like.
Teach-through-love.com

Parenting Advice from Mom

One of the things I recommend to all parents is to get plenty of good resources together for the long haul. No one person can lay claim to the best advice out there. It has to be a combination of different perspectives, different disciplines, and different points of view. One of the best resources I’ve come across is Janet Allison’s site called Parenting-Advice-from-Mom.com. Janet has put together a great website with topics ranging from quick reads on child development, evidence that boys and girls really are different, how to use words that get results, practical parenting tips & techniques and much more! Janet happens to live in my local area so I have had a chance to meet and talk with her in person! I highly recommend her site so go and check it out for yourself. Parenting-Advice-from-Mom.com